Silly Things, Part 1

1. Reading descriptions of characters in literary classics as if the character is secretly gay - also works for movies.

Examples:
"Clarence Hervey... was all things to all men - and to all women."

Or from our beloved Mr. Darcy:
"There is no woman in the room handsome enough to tempt me."

Generally it is not a very accurate way to read, but almost always amusing.


2. Siblings, Friends, or Lovers?

This is a great road trip game. It's very simple - when you see two people in a car on the road, you try and determine what their relationship is. This has to be done as quickly as possible, because after you choose, you carefully watch them to see who was right. Often very surprising results.

3. Old, heavy men wearing a t-shirt, out of the bottom of which their bellies dangle on each step, bouncing into vision briefly.

Oh, dear goodness, that was supposed to go in the disgusting things segment. Apologies.

4. Keeping track of statements made by Fox News Associates for any period of time longer than two weeks.

The easiest way to do this is to follow pundits such as Stephen Colbert or John Stewart, as they kindly point out the inconsistencies. Fox changes its position almost weekly, and it's a comedic goldmine.

5. Fortune Cookies.

I seriously wish that every now and then, they would sneak bad fortunes into the cookies, because it's all meaningless positive reinforcement. Just think of it:
"Mine says 'Romantic interests will bring you happiness'."
"oh. mine just says 'you're screwed'."